Find it funny that on the road to get to know myself & the world around, I first must walk through a door marked "unknown."





I have learned to embrace butterflies. The ones that fill your stomach before you do something daring. May seem a small act, going without technology/social media, for a handful of days, because I've chosen to cut my self off. (But tell that to the butterflies who have begun to occupy my tummy.)
Finding it a little sad saying goodbye to my friends on Twitter, Facebook for a four day #techblackout. To regroup, to touch the terra firma... for a spell.

Leigh
aka: Supertramp

In celebration of Independence day I am doing something rare, although not unique. I am stealing a page from a pair of canons in American Literature, Emerson & Thoreau. I am going back to nature, into the wild, heading up for a long weekend with my family at my parents' remote lakeside home. The path up north has been tread hundreds of times. I have visited this land we call 40 Acres with it's cabins, glacier lake, lopsided dock, well water, and abounding wildlife for as many years as it has acres. An heirloom family laden Paradise. But here's the rub:

I am cutting the tether of technology. Pulling the plug! Well...for a handful of days at least. Four to be exact.

Being untethered this weekend (#techblackout) will mean no computer, no BlackBerry, no television (except I plan to cheat and watch Wimbledon!) no email, and this one pains me the most, no social media, no Twitter.

I'm not a real Transcendentalist. I love social media, society and the hustle-bustle of daily life. My way is a busy, electronic playground. But I have found that things we love can also become our undoing if we let them. So, I am declaring my independance from the ties (techstuffs) that bind me. This social experiment is more about FUNdaMENTALism. Skinny-dipping, that is metaphorically, getting down to the skin your in.

Seems a bit silly to say that I'll miss the constant communication with you all. The tweets, the cool bite sized info that fills the voids in the day, keeps my fingers busy, and in many ways warms my soul. But the techy tether is to be severed nonetheless. For these reasons:

I need to draw true warmth from my loved ones around me.
I want to sit and listen to the birds, feel the rift of waves on the side of the oar flanked boat.
I need to catch a large mouthed bass, with my father at my side.
I cannot hear, see, smell and taste as well when I am talking. (ie; tweeting)
I want to pay 100% attention to my husband who puts up with my social habits as best he can.
I plan to take a nap.
I plan to embrace the chatter of nature over the chatter of social society.
I need to plug back in to nature's outlet and feed my little outdoor girl soul.
I will sip wine, play bocce, shower with bottled water so as not to ruin my bought blondness.
I will be present, in the here and now, aware.
And, of course, I will take pictures.

The people I communicate with in social media have become more than robust personalities, they have become part of my daily life, they have become my friends. And it will be wacky to be totally with out that camaraderie. But, I'll be back Tweeting like it's going outta style on Tuesday.

Hope you all have a safe, wonderful, holiday!

(ps. very difficult to not be there for #followfriday, a day that make me smile all day. I'll catch up with you, though)

Leigh

Remember the summer you were seven? Remember your toes hanging over the end of the dock, your heels defiantly holding firm? You hold the hand of your big cousin who has done this before and assures you you'll be fine. Your heart beats harder and you tighten your grip.

What's under the surface? What will it feel like? Will it hurt me?

And then something inside you triggers your body to take the plunge...and JUMP.

I had that same feeling a little while back while I held my finger over the enter button on my computer. My photography business had just begun and my website was about to launch....as soon as I pressed enter.

What's under the surface? What will it feel like? Will it hurt me?

And then I jumped! Yes, I was worried people wouldn't like my photographic style, that I would fail, that something would jump up and bite me. But I pressed enter. And emerged smiling and grateful for the challenge.

We, Jen, Ria, Suzanne, Morgan and I, want to share your adult thrills with you. We've been building a grown up clubhouse called Looking Glass Lane. You've seen us tweet about it but perhaps you haven't quite understood the function. We are the girls who will challenge you to stand at the end of the dock, and....JUMP. We are trigger pullers, dock jumpers, mischief makers, buzz generators, and cocktail party hostesses all in one (so hard to label.) Just because you are bigger, you are flanked with little ones of your own, you are running a company, or you're feeling fully "growed" these days doesn't mean you can't take advice from the seven year old inside of you.







For instance, here are a few nuggets of advice from my little self: (Leigh, age 5, shown above flirting with the photographer. I have rocks and snakes in my pocket, I guarantee it.)

• Don't go places without wearing pockets. Treasures are everywhere and you only have two hands and one mouth.
• Anything boys can do, you can too. Prolly better.
• Laughing is THE best. Laughing should be a daily dose thing like water, sugar and food.
• Shut your eyes 5 times a day, take a deep breath and snap a mental picture. You can replay them at night if you can sleep or if you're grounded.
• When picking up snakes, don't grab 'em where they can bite you.
  
• Oh, and hide candy in your pockets jus in case you do get grounded.
• Chocolate melted in the sun is the finest chocolate. Just don't step in it! And melted in your pocket isn't good.
  
• When grown ups look sad, hugging them helps. Or see if you can offer to fold clothes or get the mail while they happy up.
• Be nice to your friends. Or they won't be your friends. And it's really hard to play kickball all by yourself.

While The Lane site is still under construction, we have already conjured up wonderful like-minded adventurers who have become part of the Looking Glass Community. They have written dossiers, demonstrated bravery, have inspired US, and have worn the team colors during our adventures thus far.

We're ready for shenanigans. We envision a site that will have you thinking, sharing and daring. Like Alice in Wonderland, we invite you to jump down the rabbit hole.

We are waiting for you...and we're already sure you CAN.

The looking glass girls have done it again...now my assignment is write a limerick for Morgan's @modernsinglemom 's Bachelorette Party tonight at 10pm which we will be ustreaming live. Yeah. We do weird social media stuff. We bring "haven't seen that done" to new levels. We want you to join us on Morgan's last night of SINGLEMOMHOOD!

Morgan, whom I call GlamRomantic has THE coolest love story to share. It will touch your heart and reel you in. I met her and instantly adore her!

For tomorrow, she #GetsHitched (you can watch the love tweeting happen there. I come on at 10:30!)

Only a few more days until I am packing my camera, extra batteries for Las Vegas, Baby, site of the Monster Vegas Tweet Up, June 5th!!

I will be photographing many of the Twitterfolk while I am there and wanted to have the pre-shoot info available for them and any other willing participants :)

T H E D E T A I L S
You, the Brand
Shoot with @fleurdeleigh
VEGAS, JUNE 5-6

What you can expect
First off, thanks for opting into the fun. This Vegas shoot will be fabulous as it will be sure to provide us with very interesting, robust images. Can’t wait!! Thanks to Hernan Valencia (my cool Vegas local :) I am looking into rocking spaces like the Neon Graveyard (see below) to serve as backdrops for our shoots. What your $150 session fee gets you: me chasing you around with my camera for about 45 minutes, a collection of images post processed in a vibrant variety of color and black & white in a web gallery with a link for you to share, a disc with all the images formatted for print and digital use along with the original files. Additionally, I’ll make any image you want into an avatar, lickety split.

What you need to bring
Your sense of humor and your true self. Easy enough, huh? Those I have photographed had fun, a willing smile and walked away with images that they felt express their personality and individual spirit. That’s my job. Also, my photo sessions are active, lively, busy, power-packed with laughter and fun. WARNING: I have been known to be armed with Nerf balls to catch you off guard. Back to business. Bring that which suits you. Let’s discuss props, outfits, your goals in advance individually. Shoot me a note for my cell phone number. Definitely, bring a “costume” change. Vegas will be hot, so I recommend you bring a towel to dab the face, and make-up just in case.

A few potential shoot sites
And I am I coming in a bit early to get some Urban settings under my belt. Trust me when I say, this is the coolest backdrop I have ever had to work with!! (Not that Dayton, Ohio doesn’t totally rock...) Here are few spots:

Neon Graveyard
El Cortez

Your homework
You heard me! Every shoot begins with three little words...about you. I ask that you provide me with three describers to help me visualize how I am going to capture you. (ie; me: sporty, creative, bubbly) Email your words to leighcaraccioli@gmail.com the sooner the better. Also, if you refer someone else to join us for the shoot, I’ll take $50 off your session fee. I like new clients and I believe the more fun folks we have the better. JACKPOT!!! (few spots available...)

Can’t wait to meet you all & capture your images. I already feel lucky!

Are you a Poser or the Real Deal? Come see for yourself. A new blog post at Talent Revolution.

So many of you have wanted to create a dossier of your own so I have provided the nuts & bolts...The rest is up to you!!

(cut and paste into the comment section)

Name: (alias will also do)

Looking Glass Powers: (list a few abilities...think big)
Dress-up Closet: (what are the signature items in your wardrobe)
Disguise: (what do you don to go be noticed go unnoticed)
Go-To Gadget: (what item or device do you arm yourself with at nearly all times)
Vice: (what would you hide from your parents)

Magic Potion: (what is your cannot do without liquid and why)

Battery Recharge Hub (where to you plug in, get energ, re-establish you)
Bratty Spoilers: (when in a fit, what makes you all betta)
Owner's Manual: (What defines you in print, what illuminates you)

Weapon: (What is your tool, your device, your method)
Nemesis: (What are you up against, what challenges you)
Secret Ambitions: (What would your six- year-old self say you should grow up to be)

All kidding aside, I love Friday's on Twitter. The ego in me remembers the very first #followfriday mention and has relished every single one after. The giver in me wants you extend that feeling to these brilliant people.

I follow many, many incredible people, over 6,000 of them. My goal is to get to know and to connect with all of them. In the meantime, let me introduce you to these remarkable tweeple, whose personality cannot be confined to 140 characters, ever!




@KimSherrell
Bio: producer/director of a new comedy project. i tweet about art, design, film, music, video, tech, culture + twitter … current projects: #artwalk #bob #casting :::
My take: She exudes positive energy, brilliance and levity the moment she pops up on the tweet stream. She's a giant.




@kyleplacy
Kyle Lacy
Bio: A socially creative Indianapolis resident.
My take: Kyle is deliberate, honest, and can dish out some very cool business acumen. I can always count on Kyle to tell it like it is.




@dannybrown
Bio: Join me for the 12for12k Challenge - social media for good. Ask me for information or visit http://12for12k.org
My take: Clearly committed to giving, Danny is also the founder of the 12for12k Challenge, a unique charity project using social media to change the lives of millions in 2009. More than that is a character that cares and dares to act.



@MissIve
Jen
Bio: Shenanigans for Hire
My take: Chances are if you're following me, you already know that she is my big girl playmate. I call her throwback ballsy. Her writing in her blog is daring, wickedly fun, and fresh. She has captured me and made me part of the Looking Glass Lane collaboration adventure.




@r27
Rajesh Pancholi
Bio: R27.CREATIVELAB | Design & Visual Communications | Design for Print, Web & Identity | Creative Guns For Hire | Blog: http://r27creativelab.blogspot.com
My take: Hands down THE most genuinely helpful creative I have met on Twitter. I am most indebted to him although he'd disagree. Gentlemanly yet a rascal. Must follow.



@styletime
Roger Byrne
Bio: Social Media and Design, sharing inspiration, originally from England now in Egypt! Work with the cool Envato crew!
My take: If you want buckets of social media digestible info along side cool edgy wit, follow him. He's a earnest vanguard on Twitter.




@mayhemstudios
Calvin Lee
Bio: Self-Proclaimed Media Ho, Designer Guy and Twitter Addict. In his spare time, Stunt Doubles for the Hulk and a really Nice Guy! You can even ask Chris Brogan.
My take: I wish I sat next to Calvin in high school a) because he would know everything, b) because he would help me know everything c) because you know he is ready to throw spit balls as needed. Awesome fella whom I get to take photos of in Vegas next week!!




@LaBarceloneta
Claire Jackson
Bio: Hispanic. Transgendered. Artistic. Liberal. Lesbian. Fond of verbal evisceration. Surprisingly chipper.
My take: Based on the bio, real comes to mind. She is a charming conversationalist and has bitingly funny approach to life.




@smashadv
Jim Mitchem
Bio: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. (father/copywriter/ceo/married to @tinamitchem)
My take: His clever intuitive writing grabs me and his playful humor keeps me.




@SarahRobinson
Bio: Chief Hooligan for #tweepletuesday. Playing Big, supporting, motivating, writing, speaking, online biz owners who are great moms, wife, mom.
My take: She has southern charm and girl-next-door qualities that make you want to sit on the veranda drinking sweet tea planning your future business endeavors. (I also have the pleasure of photographing this Twitter butterfly next week.)


dos-si-er :
noun a collection of documents about a particular person, event, or subject.

In teaming up with this incredibly inspiring group of youthful minded smarty pants, (a.k.a my Looking Glass Lane collaborators) we all had to create our own dossiers to bring with us to LGL. What ensued was outroaring laughter.
Now on Twitter and Facebook, I am seeing this Dossier movement take flight! It was a little dose of what we aim to illicit from our friends or readers at The Lane...coercion toward fun self-discovery. Let's face it...disclosure can be fun and inspiring. I am amazed at the incredibly souls who've tapped into the Dossier fun: (more arrive every day!)

Steph
April
Christeen
Jenn
John
Nakia
Keith

Here's where it started...
Suzanne "terra firma esoteric"
Morgan "Mega Glama Romantic"
Jen "ballsy hooligan"
Ria "sexy tech"

Enough ado. Here's mine...

Leigh

Looking Glass Powers:
Ability to hop up the average photo with a wave of a magic wand (a.k.a. Photoshop).
Ability to razzle dazzle with wordy words.
Ability to go invisible for a moment when the housework is looking for her.
Ability to conjure the inner child, rockstar, superhero, and spy in others in the Twitterverse.

Dress-up Closet:
Banana Republic, Chuck Taylors, Michael Starr T's, snug jeans. At least one stunningly simple black dress. And necklaces. Lots of pretty necklaces. OPI nail polish, preferably not self-applied.

Disguise:
SuperProductivity Cape. English school teacher armed with Burberry specs, tight skirt, and a ruler.

Go-To Gadget:
Nikon D300, iPod (ruined in washer) and the BlackBerry. All should be waterproof.

Vice:
Speeding and propensity for overindulgence. But never both at once!

Magic Potion:
Elixirs of choice include cold beer almost any flava and Pinot Noir. You won't catch her dead with a girly vodka drink. Followed by H2O in copious amounts.

Battery Recharge Hub (other than Looking Glass Lane, of course)
Augusta National Golf Course, the city of New Orleans or the back of the Harley Davidson.

Bratty Spoilers:
The first tee with a wide green fairway. When that doesn't fix her, feed her pizza and 23 oz of beer.

Owner's Manual:
Where the Wild Things Are
The complete works of William Shakespeare
Tweetdeck
The Joy of Cooking (ROTFL, just seeing if you're paying attention)

Weapon:
A lasso to gain control, her 3-iron with graphite stiff shaft, the unsuspecting somersault.

Nemisis:
Alter Ego
Bacon
Focus
High drama

How she gets to the Lane:
Rapidly and four-wheeling with a top-down Jeep. Perhaps in a bikini depending on weather conditions...

Secret Ambitions:
Spyhood

This is the part where I dare you, double dare you, to create your own personal dossier and share it with us. Here's mine:

How'd the dossier craze come about?
On the heels of our Bad Mother social networking event with author Ayelet Waldman, I've linked arms with four supergirl, lively hooligan bloggers from Twitter @MissIve @RiaSharon @ZenMommy @modernsinglemom to shake things up a bit! We have set a sight in motion called Looking Glass Lane or @LookingGlassLN that is duofold full blown playtime fun and savvy viral marketing. You may have seen us using #LookingGlass in tweets for reference. We feel that just because you're "all growed up" doesn't mean that playtime is over. While we envision a website "house" that you can visit for big kid Adventures in Wonderland, self-discovery, enlightening book clubs, worldly diversions, fashion and style sizzle.

Under construction soon, the site will be part swanky lounge, part bean bag chair intimate chats, part enrapture. We invite you and you inner six-year-old! Make sure you sign our guest book to be kept aware of exciting new developments on Looking Glass Lane. Cool new stuff like a working web site, delicious new capers, exciting marketing partners. Next we engage you, learn about you, and award & embellish you. (YAY!) Our next big adventure is being schemed...right now.

Hugest thanks to Rajesh Pancholi of R27 CreativeLab ( @r27 ) for his fabulous creativity and kindness on this project.

This #followfriday let me introduce to you 10 vibrant individuals with giant personalities.

While seemingly confining, 140 characters can pack a punch. I love the brevity of Twitter and find it remarkable how some personalities bust out of such a small space. This blog is not about the always polite, the sweet retweeters, the obigatory in any way. Rather these 10 people flat out draw you in grab you by the collar and confound the 140 characters with a robust individuality (part one of two by the way.) They are free thinkers, honest, optimistic and real.

@iamkhayyam Playful, avant guarde, full throttle real, creative and a joy to watch. See his dig on #followfriday here.

@StaciJShelton She has a presence that you feel the moment she is in your stream like someone just twisted open the shades and let the brightness in. She is a blend of pure optimism, biz mind, and heart. You'll enjoy her blog.

@sethsimonds Face it. The man fears not. Eats status quo for breakfast. He turned heads this week when he dropped all 45K of his followers. But at the crux was a man who wanted more genuine connections which I admire. His blog requires coffee and thick skin. (Warning: Can't guarentee a follow back though ;)

@RiaSharon I code named her sexytech because she has skills you just wouldn't expect of a beautiful momma blogger. Getting to know Ria in collaboration for Looking Glass Lane (under construction) let me in to her straight-forward loving, laugh at yourself grace that has changed me. She affects people near her. POSITIVELY.

@unmarketing He IS Twitter. He teaches, inspires, keeps us in line, sings *makes pained face,* retweets and represents marketing upended. He made Twitter real for me. If your not following him, put your teeth bak in and bite yourself!

@sexythinker When my husband introduced me to Amanda he should have said "This woman will change your life." A passionate visionary who simply wants everyone to live the Ultimate Career Lifestyle: Be Real, Be Relavant, Be Passionate. She has built a career network community with Talent Revolution that is amazing....and she is about to publish her hot book/ebook.

@lruettimann She is bold, hilarious, unfiltered, flanked by cats and has a whip smart HR mind. She immediately impressed me by the duofold ability to make me think hard and laugh harder with 140 characters. She's a keeper! Punk Rock HR.

@thetylerhayes He's likely to sit the ball back with spin and speed when you send one over the court to this young turk. Tyler is a self proclaimed rascal who is part web savvy cool geekness and part full blown youthful swagger.

@frankidurbin Her blog life in a venti cup is a divine read. This darling cooks, writes, moms, zips about in the ultimate driving machine and ultimately inspires. To boot, she does it all with haute couture & caffeine.

@SmartZombie He calls himself and "incurable optimist" which goes down like a happy pill. He's witty, delightful and a devoted father. Cartoony yes, but don't let the Wolverine claws fool you. He is a devoted daddy! His website.

Part two of the Twitter personalities next week.

There is something bedazzled about Friday's on Twitter that makes me want to thwart of trite with new ways to illuminate fun follows. Believe me. I am surrounded by thousands of fabulous photographers, some that I am just getting to know. This list will be ongoing. This list pays no homage to the photog elite who equate followers with fan and do not participate in the dynamic exchange of ideas. Rather this list is about those photographers who are ALL IN and making a difference in the community at large.




@chasejarvis
Bio: Manic photographer director
My 2 cents: His style is eye candy, he gets social media, and he has his fingers on the pulse of the industry trends.
His website: Chase Jarvis






@abbyharenberg
Bio: Weddings/portraits/events/lifestyle photographer, love to photograph people.
My 2 cents: She is a natural socialite who is kind, diverse, and social media savvy.
Her website: Abby's Digital Photography






@photojack
Bio:world, travel, lifestyle, stock photographer. Social Media coach and consultant to #togs. Husband. Father. Austinite.
My 2 cents: Gentile and amiable, he tweeted: #togsfollow daily. share the love. spread the word. build up you "group capital". recommend other photographers. keep up the mojo.
Check out his multimedia futuristic website.

@modernsinglemom
Bio: Social Media Maven in Training, romantic, single mom, photographer, blogger, genuinely interested in people. Dedicated to making each day sparkle.
My 2 cents: Her photoblog is full of high mood, romanticism and whippy smart writing. Love this chic! I met her this weekend in an Ultimate Career Lifestyle Seminar and was blown away by her beauty & robust spirit. She's a collaborator on the exciting new Looking Glass Lane (a.k.a. Adventures for all grown up girls)

@biggaboss
Bio: Founder of Twittographers.com Where twitter and photographers meet! Web Developer, Photographer, IT Geek! Looking to be Happy in Life!
My read: He is unifying the photography community with his site and his charming, gracious personality.

@_kelli
Bio: photographer/wife/mom looking to bring a little more joy into the world.
My 2 cents: Her blog is filled with sunshine and advice like remembering to bring your camera everywhere with you.
Website: kelli jane photography

@darrinballman
Bio: Bio photographer and all-around wine & food junkie.
My 2 cents: I adopted him as a mentor because he didn't laugh at me for not know what f/stop was. His hands on help has been paramount for me. He'll help you with anything related to his two passions, photography and red wine.
His website.

@kelliekano
Bio: wedding/lifestyle photographer juggling 2 studios, 2 amazing little boys & a musician hubby. I'm addicted to coffee & all things vintage..
My 2 cents: She has a youthful, solid style, writing and photo capture accumen that I adore.
Website: photoblog.

@chrismathews
Bio: Photographer, Apple Enthusiast, Geek.
My 2 cents: This young turk's cup fillith over with raw photo journalistic talent. He is one to watch!
His photoblog.

@paulgiunta
Bio: Husband, Photographer, Blogger, Photoblogger, Scientist.
My 2 cents: He's attentive, interesting and engaging on Twitter.
His photoblog.

@GravittPro
Bio: Wedding and Event Videographer, Photographer, WAHM of 3 amazing boys, & wife of 1 good man!
My 2 cents: Absolute doll who coincidentally might be my twin because she confessed to a garbage disposal grow-a-frog mishap. A badge of dishonor that we both share. Among other things ;0.
Website: Gravitt Productions

@MikeJonesPhoto
Bio: Wedding, Senior, and Family Photog. for North Texas.
My 2 cents; He's gregarious, helpful, and funny.
His website.

The Twitter Kings have spoken. Our communications are snuffed. I don't get snuffed quietly!

In response to yesterday's Twitter changes which fundamentally alter the flow of communication on a site I love, I feel deserted on an island. On an Island with tons of other outraged Twitterers who are tweeting their opinions through #fixreplies In yesterdays post @biz explains the changes:

Based on usage patterns and feedback, we've learned most people want to see when someone they follow replies to another person they follow—it's a good way to stay in the loop. However, receiving one-sided fragments via replies sent to folks you don't follow in your timeline is undesirable. Today's update removes this undesirable and confusing option. (Full blog here.)

How the Twitterverse runs is frankly too confusing for me to understand. I'm blond, one-brained, and tech-challenged. But my mantra is simplicity: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. (My English professors just disowned me) After a little bit of research, I feel the folks at Twitter world headquarters have "fixed" the unbroken. How Facebook of them!

Ultimately, I want to know how the changes affect how I use Twitter for social networking. How the exchange of @replies has been effected can be found in Andrew Lewin's insightful article, Twitter told to #fixreplies!

I write this article, because I believe change can happen here reverting us back to the Twitter where I get to see my conversations fully and the conversations of others acurrately. But change takes a movement of positive force. Let's do this...together.

Say it with me. Twitter: MAKE ME PRIVY!

Leigh

Perhaps it's some strange boomerang mommy karma that gives me the opportunity to read Ayelet Waldman's socially charged and brutally honest book Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace, before it officially hits bookstores this Tuesday, May 5th. This new book grew wings from her highly controversial New York Times essay, Motherlove which met caustic disapproval of the stoic moms hellbent on the idealism of being a perfect mom.

Follow this link to Join us MONDAY, MAY 11th at 12 noon EST:  

Ustream Live Broadcast

For those of you who know me, you've seen my candid, humorous, heartfelt illumination of my being a working mother. It's messy, let me assure you. My two year old just told me to "focus Mommy." In a social networking collaboration, I am linking arms with four other dynamite mothers who share my quest to be a good mother and an acceptance that we'll will never be on the public podium of Perfect Mom. We are a bevy of bold bloggers who want to conjure a conversation with you other mothers and fathers on the subject of parenting. Here's the important mommy topic d'jour.

When reading this passage from this insightful, bittingly funny book about the scrutiny of societal pressure on flawed moms like myself, I heard my voice in Ayelet's:

"I on the other hand, was supposed to be doing this good mother thing, this care-taking thing, this Gymboree and Music together and baby massage thing, but unlike my husband, filling my traditional domestic role didn't make me happy. It didn't feel like I had come into some deeper understanding of what it meant to be a woman and a mother. It just felt like I'd gone astray, that I was stuck in a hole I had dug for myself, a hole I was not supposed to want to escape. And complicating all this was the fact that I loved these children so much. "

Upending the lofty career aspirations of women like me in favor for a diaper-filled, domestic day in stay-at-home motherhood, seems shear madness. When my daughter was born and my (now ex) husband insisted that I opt to stay home, I felt up to the task after the thrill-of-the-kill highs of Sales & Marketing. I approached momness as I do everything, certain that I’d be successful. Little did I know that while I adore my children and earnestly try to be the attentive female pillar my mother was, I would fall short. Daily.

Even as a messy ponytailed youth, I wasn't ever found playing with dolls aping motherhood like my little sister. I was controlling the wind from a rock or unearthing nightcrawlers for an early morning fishing adventure with my brother. Of course, I wanted to have children and to share my life with them. But, the not at the sacrifice of all the other parts of me.

I contemplated the notion of Good Mother. Good Moms were even-tempered, child worshiping, healthy lunch bag carrying beings with a finely tuned calendar full of family planned activities, soccer games, school plays. I found myself like an actress, a Bad Mother in costume, donning the role everyone expected of me. A misfit.

Good mothers simply DO NOT let time slip away from them while working, look down and realize that they have missed picking up their kindergartner at the bus stop and would receive a call from the school transportation department who was holding a beautiful daughter hostage. Wiping away mascara, I faced the disapproving looks of school staff mothers who would have me wear a scarlet letter "M" for gross maternal negligence. They frowned at me.

Reading Ayelet's book made me open raw wounds of how I perceive myself as loving but impostor mother in relation to the really good moms out that abound. It made me commiserate with the author about the juggling that is required of working moms and gave me comfort that I am not alone in self-scrutinizing my maternal role. Bad Mother made me understand myself and forgive myself for my shortcomings. Even, laugh about them.

In an act of solidarity I've joined these the bright, brave bloggers:

Jen Wright, (@MissIve)

Ria Sharon (@riasharon)

Suzanne Tucker (@ZenMommy)

Morgan Siler (@modernsinglemom)

Yours truly (@fleurdeleigh)

Check out Suzanne Tucker's video on

BADMOTHER: How to Stop “Should-ing” on Yourself!@#

We are taking Badmotherhood viral by discussing this powerful book, its impact on us, and we are engaging with you about the honesty of motherhood, or in my case motherhoodlam. I plan to share my inner tug-a-war, selfishness and maternal inadequacies with you. And, here's the fun part you play. In return, please make my day by sharing your voice with us. For all you Twitter folks, join us on Twitter by including the hashtag #badmother in your tweet. Check out the live feed here .

We are going live in a no holds barred discussion the day before the book hits the shelves. The brave author/poster child for Bad Mothering, Ayelet Waldman, is joining us on Monday, May 11 th, Noon EST.

We want you to lend your voice, to pop in here and take part. We welcome an genuinely honest conversation with you. And since you tend to forget things like school lunches, don't worry. Sign up below and we'll remind you that day of our sit in chat with Ayelet. We will even send you a copy of the first chapter of Bad Mother so you can express your thoughts of this great piece of stirring writing.

Step 1: Sign up below to be emailed a free first chapter of Ayelet Waldman's Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace before it is available in print.

Step 2: Have a heart to heart with your inner mother and come discuss it with us on Twitter, in our blog comment sections, on Facebook in our Bad Mother online bookclub. We strive to give every mother, good, bad or otherwise a healthy forum.

Step 3: Plan to join us for the live chat with AYELET as her honest witty self. We will post the live stream here!!!

Friday's on Twitter Rock! Because this week will find me surrounded by family for the holiday and glued to The Masters Golf action, I will not have my usual computer access. Besides, I have been feeling squished by the 140 character allotment anyway for all these 30 incredible people have done for me, personally. So, I am doing something different this week for #followfriday on Twitter.

Twitter would not have grabbed me by the lapels and pulled me in to stay if it weren't for these Tweeple. I adore these folks and feel indebted to them. I want to share them with you. They did their homework and provided three words to describe themselves (some kicking and screaming like toddlers) shown in parenthesis.

Ladies First,

@sexythinker (intense, inspirational, cool) This passionate, upbeat, futuristic professional brought me to the Twitter party...and I never left! She is the heart & soul of Talent Revolution, a cutting edge career resource community and she captains so many bright minds who I admire. Follow this young visionary and she'll lead you to a better future. Trust me. I know! Link here

@MissIve (curious, grateful, excited) I was drawn to her from her spicy, toe-to-toe quick banter, and her diverse writing abilities. Her blog is an experience like rolling down the car window on a fast drive in the fresh air. Her antics are epic. She's the "she" in shenanigans! Be prepared to play with reckless abandon. (If not, she'll twist your arm! Really will I assure you.) Link here

@StaciJShelton (positive, happy, enthusiastic) When this enchanting lady landed in my tweet stream, my world got a whole lot brighter. Combining compassion, enthusiasm, business acumen in her tweets, she operates with relentless optimism. She adds sunshine to Twitter. Follow her & you'll feel her warmth naturally. Link here

@pifphoto (driven, inspired, humble) Darling, jazzy, bright and daring, Lindsay was one of the first photographers I followed. Instantly she struck me as a giant giving spirit. She created the photographer's resource community at Pay It Forward Photo with the intention of helping others achieve their goals. I reached out to interview her because I admired her noble endeavor, she nabbed me to interview for the pif team. You'll love her, but don't believe her when she takes credit for creating Post It Notes. I did! Link here

@modbird (silly, silly, and silly) Creative and friendly, this dear Floridian has a penchant for design an a knack for sincere conversation. It is evident that she finds Twitter a nice diversion from her computer workload. She breaks away for Yoga & time with real life friends but always comes back to us :) Link here

@RootedInStyle (intuitive, loyal, fiery) She told me that she loves textures and it made sense after I understood the multiple dimension of this great gal. Her website is welcoming, visually & mentally. Take a look: Link here

@Mama_Red (passionate, powerful, joyful) She's a dynamo. This woman loves people, laughing, coffee, her family....even us "adopted" ones from Twitter. Her mom sixth sense is remarkable as she can tell when your down by the sound or lack of your tweets and she'll find you and make you all better. Wonderful boisterous heart. Link here

@GravittPro (creative, optimistic, loyal) We are consulting our parents because we think we may be photographer, mommy, married to hotties, kindred spirited sisters separated at birth. She is the ONLY other person I know who accidentally killed daughter's grow-a-frog in the disposal. We're twins. Link here

@SarahRobinson (sassy, strategic, creative) High energy, noble hearted and devoted to a cause, Sarah is in many ways the girl next door. A Maverick Mom with a golden heart. She is the Twitter hostess behind #tweepletuesday which serves as a way to introduce followers to one another. And she’s a rascal which is why I adore her! Link here

@mmcgovern (curious, creative, engaging) A renaissance women creative & bright. Her view of the world is truly one to see. She mixes fashion and form brilliantly. She makes me think…which isn’t an easy task! Link here

@AnnaKDeLeo (fabulous, fashion, passion) Stylish, smart, charming, this gal is one I know I would sit down next to and not want to leave. This Bostonian is always a good solid read.

@OPCGal (funny, caring, colorful) When I was cyber bullied, she along with several of the other folks here immediately jumped in to help. She is dear and has a warm sense of savvy humor. Link here

@MelanieO (passionate, intense, fun loving) This wine loving, clever lady is a fun follow. She chimes in with humor and advice just when you need it.

@carece (energetic, positive, engaging) Carece has grace and a business mind that makes her fun to watch. Deeply caring, I have grown to appreciate her positive tweets. She puts things in proper perspective for me. Link here

@suzanneally (truth-seeker, fun-maker, color-painter) This bright and playful artist is a neighbor of mine here in Ohio. She always ready to join the fun and makes delightful company. Link here

And Gentlemen

@imjustcreative Graham is a bit of a twitter enigma, an individual always diverting the spotlight on the highlights of others and in doing so has developed a following or grateful creative admirers. He was the first person to bring twitter to life virally for me by making me a part of the mono expressions personal portraits feature. He is a robust creative, a wealth of knowledge, wry and ethereal all in one. A must follow, super cool, humble logo chap. Link here

@adbert (silly, neighbor, friend) The music man, full of heart and soul. He frequents the Twitter & blip.fm scene like a good Samaritan. Daily he sends me a smile whether he knows it or not. He's larger than life. Link here

@r27 (open, creative, driven) This gentleman offered to lend me a creative hand unsolicited, featured me in a blog, and has helped me at every turn. He has challenged me to evaluate my professional message vastly changing what I know about design and blogging. He is a noble businessman. For him, I am indebted and I am brainstorming how to return the favor in kind. Link here

@iamkhayyam (witty, charming, foolery) He is a playmate,cohort, and genuine fun fella. He's so versatile I have a hard time defining his many links make me smarter or make me laugh typically. He'll twitter wrastle and dish some satire now and again. He has reached out to me with a genuine heart that truly admire. Link here

@mayhemstudios (spikey, haired, troublemaker) The nice guy, it guy of all things twitter and design. He'll volley a few smack talking fun tweets just to show you he's not all business. I am fairly certain, the sweet man never sleep and had 8 arms based on his work load and Twitter activity! Link here

@unmarketing (geek, happy, grumpy) Hands down the shizzle on twizzle. This Canadian is a social networking demi-god with a unconventional business approach that hits home to his 20K plus followers. Mostly, he is all heart and seems to give a part to every single person he meets. To know him is to know him and appreciate him. He changed the way I Twitter with his daily tweet and upended my experience for the positive in Twitterland. Absolute "Awesomesauce." Link here

@ricklondon (tall, dark, humble) He'll be the guy in your corner and the guy who will make you bust a gut laughing. Loads of sound, fun, tweets. He's big ol awesome! Link here

@Dragoncade (thoughtful, photographer, blogger) THE sweetest dragon on twitter. This fella will greet you hello, bid you goodnight and do it with the purest of intentions. He makes Twitter a genuine, positive, nice place. Link here

@danlopez2012 (warm, engaging, witty) Super-charged, multifaceted, motivational and funny this dad is an all around cool guy. And on top of that he is a FOCUS coach...now where was I? Super follow.

@kyleplacy (driven, stubborn, creative) He's good clean business smart Twitter. His tweets are relevant & well fed. "Socially creative," great blog content and fabulous to follow. I do remember that he locked himself out of his office so I have a soft spot in my heart for him ;) Link here

@kufarms (caring, passionate, curious) He's the down to earth guy next door, compassionate father, engaging conversationalist, and bright professional. He seems poised and ready for anything. Link here

@Jon_Aston (enthusiastic, warm, giving) He sums it up in his description but he is also playful, committed to causes and community. On one occasion in particular, this kind man was relentless in helping me stop a cyber bully. He's like a twitter big brother to me.

@c_reed (sincere, edgy, lucid) Chris Reed's style is understate and totally stated at the same time. He created my logo and is my regular go to guy for all the technical mishaps I have on a regular basis. His tweets are thoughtful, clever & bold. He & Amanda Hite made the Talent Revolution website the coolness that it is! Link here

@danieljohnsonjr (connector, inspiring, teacher) What a nice guy. Down the road from me this man seems to be a magnet for tweeple and is genuinely interested in doing good with social media. I also like that he Tweeted: "I have regular stare-downs with the man in the mirror. I remind him that he's better than he thinks he is."

@mdrisser (helpful, creative, focused) He often puts a smile on my face from a tweet with clarity, wry wit or heart. He"ll claim that he's making a mess of things but I'd venture to say the opposite. Link here

When I think about motherhood and life in general, the images that come to the forefront first are the messy, tousled, coffee stained moments I spend with my children in the hours of sunrise. Maybe this is a product of being a photographer, but literally when I close my eyes I see this way. And perhaps you can understand why I feel so fortunate, every single sleephead morning.

The other day, while I was playing a game of Trouble with my daughter (8), "Mommy's little monster" decided to bring me my coffee. Both the stain and the sweet memory of his gesture remain. My son and I share a birthday, a happy spirit, and the inability to sleep in. This two year old alarm clock yells from his crib for me to join him often before the sun. Then once released from confines of his crib, he gathers blankie and sets off to wake his sissy (not an early bird).

We all sit down and slide step by step downstairs to start our day. On school days, it's all about getting the backpack loaded, the paperwork signed, the kids fed, the weather appropriate clothing on and we dash to the bus stop.

On weekends, we laze about. Checking email, Twitter, playing games, wrestling on the floor, playing with cars, cows, or coloring books. We deliver coffee to Daddy fighting over who gets to carry the newspapers. Then I burn bacon and we all laugh and open the windows regardless of outside temperature.
We giggle, I correct, sip our juice, coffee or milk and prep for the day. They chase each other like wild fools. I referee. Max pleads his case with his Sissy "Poo-it, Scoo do & mean monsters?" and she smiles at me because it's his a.m. video of choice. And we roll our eyes knowing that I have to have my hand on the trigger to fast-forward all the "scary monster" parts for the little guy.


Regularly I think, how quickly the months, seasons, years pass. Soon these little joys will be big and creating their own morning rituals. I'll have these images to reflect on the special dawns I shared with my family.

Time should stand still for long enough for us to soak all this great stuff in, but it won't relent.

The coffee sets in as does my Type A, full speed ahead approach. As soon as my mind is fully awake, I get easily ladened with "what's next" and these precious timeless moments come to pass. The To Do list needs me. The chores, the business opportunities and the bills, responsibilities take hold.


And just like that another brilliant day ensues.

I rarely (o.k. never) go a day without Twitter impacting me. I tell a tale of the positive, educational, Tour de Force of this social networking land to everyone who will listen. A few people have asked me to help them to understand Twitter simply. So, I will remind you how to enhance your Twitter experience by using what you already know...from your Mom!

1. Hold Hands
Get out and get to know people. Take the initiative to meet new people, high five someone who deserves kudos, lend a hand to a follower in need. I started with people that I admired in the photography industry and branched out from there. Do searches on your interests to find cool folks to follow with common interests and like mindedness.

Awesome Twitter search tool: TwitPwr (link via @AlexKaris)

I typically peruse the person's Twitter homepage to be sure they are positive, engaging, and interesting. Then I "hold hands" and follow. If you need help, send me a Direct Message and I'll advise or watch Follow Friday happen for awesome suggestions of great follows.

2. Play Nice
My mom always said "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Which side of the of magnet are you?" The side that draws others in to stay or the side that repels? Scott Stratten (@unmarketing) first taught me that each day you should take some time to stop listen and reply to others in an engaging manner. Send out a few @replies to tweets that catch your eye. That type of playing nice makes Twitter rock!

3. Share
By all means, share with us your photos, your funny stories, your heartfelt causes, your hilarious links, your creative ideas and your sound opinion. There is no better global show & tell than Twitter. Don't forget to pass on through a retweet (RT) something that you find helpful or moving. Endorse your friends. They like that. It shows them you're listening while caring.

4. Never Arrive Empty Handed
Don't get stymied by having something super important to say. I have tweeted about cheese, Scooby Doo, and calling my cellphone to locate it. But Bring Something to the party. Providing value is the key with a good recipe of self expression, friendship, professional information, and promoting others.

5. Have the Best Intentions.
If you wander Twitter with good intentions, your followers will grow organically and your experience will be enriched. Ask yourself periodically what's important to you Tweet with that honest intention in mind. People who are self-serving and all about self-promotion have no "hidden" agenda. I unfollow that type of Twitter taker. Most of all, have fun with it! Right, Mom?

Leigh
@fleurdeleigh
ps. Even my MOM is on Twitter. You can do it!

The Twitter experience is nothing if not unique. How each of us tweet, how we share and what we draw from the experience creates our own Twitter Thumbprint. Nary a one the same.

When I was asked the other day, “How can I get a bunch of followers in a short time span” I drew silent. (Uncharacteristic, I know.) That is so not Twitter to me! I suddenly realized that the questioner and I were not ideological Twitter bedfellows. Clear to me was the fact that this fellow wanted numbers, big numbers, tons of cool followers for his home page. Ego buffering, perhaps. And as we spoke a bit more, I suspected that my Twitter Thumbprint which has allowed me the organic growth of a couple thousand new followers was not what he wanted out of Twitter.

I can only tell you that I find Twitter both a classroom and a playground bustling with wise teachers and hilarious playmates. The experience that I have had with Twitter these last few months has been remarkably positive. So, I will share with you my thumbprint.

Here’s how I twitter. If it resembles your intentions and goals for Twitterland, you may find it helpful. If you seek the transparent popularity that of the “10K followers in two months” folks deem possible, my thumbprint won’t suit you. And I'll fashion you a glittery "Muy Popular" paper crown.


Throw a line out.
After spending some time viewing others on the Twitter stream one day, I finally casted out my own line. Prior to that moment, my tweets were literally “What are you doing now? answers with little value to anyone but me who already knew the answer to that question in the first place. I had 67 great followers most of whom I knew in person and I followed double that. My lightbulb experience came when I began engaging in dialogue with other tweeple, retweeting what I found interesting, and seeking ways that I could do some of these awesome new followers a kindness. I shared their links, I recommended them to others, I left a sincere comment on their blog. I tweeted about it in a 140 character version of this, my Twitter mantra:

The moment when you stop viewing your followers as a SUM and see them instead as a SOMEONE, then Twitter becomes meaningful.


Be yourself, be sincere, be interested.
To truly benefit from this social networking tool you need to know your intention clearly. I am a friendly, upbeat person forever open to learning from others. So I behaved true to myself. Each time I had a new follower my first step was a visit to their home page to paruse their tweets and follow a website link. It’s easy for me to find a interesting bit about everyone, I like people, so I sent a DM thanking them for the follow with a genuine nugget about why I was glad to be following them. That’s when I started meeting many rockstar “someones.” Unfortunately, to keep greeting followers individually as they arrive has become too time consuming to maintain. Girl's gotta work, eat & sleep too.


Seek out followers with common interests.
Twitter is not one size fits all. Do a self analysis on your interests and plug it into Twitter Search. You'll be shown tweeple who are talking about that very topic. I do this every so often to get akin followers. I explained this to my mother who searched "gardening" "NCAA March Madness" and "cooking" to help her find some interesting new folks to follow. To each their own, follows.


Soak up the beauty of kindness on Twitter.
People who seek only numbers, will get only numbers. I found new true friends, creative inspiration, personal connections, support, caring, business advice and best practices, a large network of people whom I care about everyday and who in turn feed my soul. I have so many great Twitter experiences to share but this is a fine example of the sharing community that makes it so awesome: I uploaded a two hour interview off of my digital voice recorder into my Mac and it erased the files. Panic set in…I did a few somersaults to calm myself down…and then spent the next 45 minutes on hold with the technical help number.

In comes Twitter. I decided while on the phone to ask my Tweeple if anyone had a potential solution. Within a minute, four people @AzureMarcommTX @Kbzon @Mama_Red and @andypohl came to my rescue. I spent the next hour plus the phone with Andy, coincidentally from my town, who walked me through the whole thing. Crisis averted. Friendship solidified! Beer owed :)

Twitter's mark on me is pronounced (hmm. I am wearing a shirt that says "eat. sleep. tweet" for Pete's sake. That is why I wanted to share the ways that I have optimized Twitter for my enjoyment. Seek out your mark. Your Twitter thumbprint is your own.

Leigh
@fleurdeleigh